Note: The following satirical article was first posted by me on Thursday, May 23, 2013 at What’s Your Point?, a weblog which resided at First2Board but is now defunct, so technically this is its second posting; and I thought that April Fool’s Day would be an appropriate time to repost it — especially if you had not yet read it. Some of the information in it may be obsolete. Enjoy!
A fter a long transoceanic flight, it will be great to be back in the United States. Not much longer, I thought to myself. One obvious clue is the forms being passed around by the flight attendants to the passengers aboard the aircraft. We are required to fill out those forms, whether or not we have anything to declare once we pass through Customs.
I tried to use my pen, but the ink — bold and blue, normally — has apparently dried, rendering my writing apparatus useless. Was my frustration really that apparent?
The woman who sat next to me eyed my dilemma. I had not noticed her before during the entire flight — probably because her looks were simply plain vanilla, in my opinion. Plus, I had no incentive or impetus to discover her during the flight. She was well-dressed, though: a fairly conservative blouse with a low-cut neckline, knee-length skirt and high-heeled pumps — all of which matched the color of the sapphire on her gold ring. Her blonde hair — platinum, almost — was long as it cascaded over her shoulders.
A coy smile appeared on her face as she handed me her pen. I had to give her credit: she knew how to cut to the chase when it came to resolving a problem.
“Thank you”, I sheepishly replied. I then proceeded to select the correct answers to the questions posed on the form. Thank goodness I did not have to worry about whether or not I have a visa to enter the United States, as I am an American citizen.
After only a minute or two, I wrote my signature on the form and placed it in my pants pocket.
“Are you going to give it to me?” Wow — I thought she was being quite forward with me — until I realized that I never returned the pen to her. I must learn to keep an open mind about what people say to me.
“Pardon me. Thank you again for the pen. I appreciate it.”
“Are you from New York?”, she asked in broken English, her head tilted and eyes sparkling. The blue of her eyes was mesmerizing, I have to admit, as it seemed to match the color of her clothes and her sapphire.
“I am”, I replied.
“Can you tell me — how you say in American — express on train or taxi to Manhattan?”
I sat there, wondering from what part of the world did she travel to get here.
“You would want to take the express train into Manhattan,” I replied. “The traffic will be bad at this hour. The train will be much faster and less expensive than a taxi.”
“Thank you. You are so kind.”
We were so engaged in conversation after that — I kept her laughing with my sense of humor — that we did not even realize that the airplane had already landed and was taxiing for its arrival at the gate.
“You are so funny — how you say in American — such a card. A master card!”
I suppose that was a compliment. I will take whatever I can get.
You would have thought that this was the premier of what could be an amazing relationship which would surpass any other with infinite possibilities — but alas…I suppose it just was not meant to be, even though the explorer in me thought twice about getting her contact information.
Despite what seemed to be a visit from the “bluebird of happiness” — I needed to preserve my freedom.
She went her way — and I went mine.
Perhaps we both preferred to move forward that way after all.
As to whether or not this potential venture would have been a capital one — well…we will never know, for travel has its rewards…
…but this was not destined to be one of them.
My point is that the constant proliferation of referral links at certain weblogs can be ridiculous — despite how lucrative they may be to the “bloggers.” This is probably the farthest extent you will read with regard to anything written by me about those credit cards. I have never had a referral link to any credit card — ever — and I probably never will.
For now, I intend to stick with my credit cards which give me a percentage of cash back every time I use them, as I would much rather have cash than frequent travel loyalty program points or miles, which seem to lose value and have more restrictions placed on them every day.
However, I can use cash any way I want. I like that.
What’s Your Point? What do you think about all of the referral links which you may find at other weblogs? Do you click on any of them? If so, have they benefited you? And finally, how many references to credit cards did you find in the fictitious story above which you just unfortunately read — and how would you have incorporated FlexPerks seamlessly into it?
