Do People Actually Fall For This Garbage?

Note: This article pertaining to Do People Actually Fall For This Garbage? was originally published on Tuesday, July 14, 2016 at 2:15 in the afternoon and has been updated.

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Since this article was first published on Tuesday, July 14, 2016, my e-mail accounts have endured countless junk messages over the years — and with the recent breach of my personal data with Qantas Airways, I am bracing myself for a flood of garbage…

Do People Actually Fall For This Garbage?

…but I thought I would share this gem when I checked my e-mail messages exactly nine years ago in 2016 with the title Letter From U.S Customs and Border Protection, Reply As Soon As Possible that is still awaiting my response to this day:

U.S CUSTOMS AND BORDER PROTECTION
Customs Department:John F.Kennedy International Airport
JFK Airport’s Terminal Nine (American AirlinesTerminal)
JFK Airport New York NY, US 11430
United States of America

Attn: Beneficiary

Dear sir/madam,

NOTICE OF PACKAGE/CONSIGNMENT ON HOLD AWAITING CLEARANCE

Why do you keep silent? Are you alive or dead? Please,reply
urgently if you are alive and healthy.

Be informed, we received letter of “Power of Attorney” from one
Ms.Mary V.Miller Turner of Philadelphia, PA USA that claim to be your
representative and she is ready to pay the required  fee/Charges to obtain
necessary U.S Customs and Border Protection clearance documents and have the
consignment deliver at her address in Philadelphia. Please, let me know
urgently if you are aware of this development.

Please, help us to serve you better.

I wish you all the best and Remain blessed in the light of GOD never
fails!!!

Yours in service,

Jeffery Adams
Office of Inspection(U.S CUSTOMS DEPARTMENT) John F. Kennedy International
Airport, New York, USA.
Direct Telephone: 650 288 6056

My Response

Rather than respond privately to this e-mail message, I thought I would respond with this article instead.

• Why do I keep silent? Well, gee — just because several hours have elapsed since I posted the most recent article I have written, I am keeping silent?!? I might have found the number one fan of The Gate With Brian Cohen. I will try to post articles more often just for you.
• Am I alive or dead? Hmm…that is a tough one — a question which cannot be answered without consulting a medical professional. Please let me check my e-mail messages to find someone impersonating a doctor so that I may be examined; and I will get back to you on that. In fact, I probably should also have my gender checked, as you have no idea whether I am a “sir” or a “madam.”
• Please, reply urgently if I am alive and healthy. So if I am not alive and healthy, should I reply in a relaxed fashion? I suppose it is difficult to be urgent about anything once I am already dead; so forgive me for not replying at all if the result of the aforementioned medical prognosis proclaims that I am officially dead.
• “Power of Attorney” Well, at least you were “honest” about putting this one in “quotes,” which usually means that what is written is not actually what it is — pardon my “grammar,” as it is nowhere near as “excellent” as your “grammar.” I am confused, though: does the quoted part mean that “Ms.Mary V.Miller Turner of Philadelphia, PA USA” is not really a power of attorney? Do that mean that she — or he — is not really my representative? Please help me out here, “Jeffrey Adams.”
• She is ready to pay. So “she is ready to pay the required fee/Charges to obtain necessary U.S Customs and Border Protection clearance documents and have the consignment deliver at her address in Philadelphia.” Great! Tell you what: I am willing to forego this delivered consignment. Have her send the funds to me instead. I will need them to book a flight from Atlanta to Philadelphia — plus lodging, ground transportation, meals, and other incidental expenses.
• Please, let me know urgently if you are aware of this development. Again with the “urgently”? Have we suddenly skipped the requirement as to whether I am alive or dead? I do not even know details pertaining to what is the consignment which is to be delivered. About which development are you referring?
• Please, help us to serve you better. I must admit — with all of the times you write “please,” you are rather polite. For that reason, I am completely convinced that your communication to me referring to this “development” is not a scam.
• I wish you all the best and Remain blessed in the light of GOD never fails!!! Ahh, the religious component, which must be added to verify that this is a real communication — especially from someone who really is officially employed by a department of the United States government — such as the “Office of Inspection(U.S CUSTOMS DEPARTMENT) John F. Kennedy International Airport, New York, USA.” I do feel blessed — as well as reassured that this communication is indeed valid, authentic and genuine.
• Telephone number. Despite being born and raised in New York, I had no idea that John F. Kennedy International Airport was located somewhere in the San Francisco Bay Area of California, as indicated by the 650 area code — either that, “Jeffrey Adams,” or you have some commute to your job every day; or, of course, you originally lived in California but moved to New York and simply kept that telephone number on your mobile telephone. Yes — that must be it.

Just for fun, I called the “direct” telephone number. No one answered the telephone; and I let it ring for at least two minutes. I tried to contact you more than once. How am I supposed to be willingly scammed by you — er…I mean…how are you supposed to please urgently assist me in this urgent development when I urgently call you and no one please urgently answers the urgent telephone?!?

Perhaps I could reply to officialmailbox02@gmail.com — which is the e-mail address from where the message to me came. After all, that is an official e-mail address of the United States Customs and Border Protection — right?!?

“Jeffrey Adams,” I am beginning to believe that you are not “mine in service.” I have just sank into an urgent deep depression — never mind the possibility that I might be dead.

Final Boarding Call

It is annoying enough to receive “click bait” e-mail messages from reputable companies such as airlines — but do people actually fall for this garbage?

As one who travels globally, the title of the e-mail message did initially catch my attention — the U.S with either a missing period or with a superfluous period tipped me off where I instantly knew that this was a “spam scam” — but I was curious enough to want to look at the contents of the e-mail message, as I found it potentially humorous.

I know you would never fall for anything like this; so I hope that we had some fun at the expense of “Jeffrey Adams”; but some bogus e-mail messages can be more sophisticated — enough to have you wondering whether or not the communication is genuine. Please be sure to read this article written by me which gives you advice on how to tell if an e-mail message is “spam.”

In the meantime, I please wish you all the best and urgently remain blessed…